Patience

I admit I'm not exactly someone you'll describe as patient.

It may seem almost ironic since my line of work certainly requires an exceptional amount of patience from me.

These days I've been lazing at home, my patience has been unexpectedly put to the test.

Why?

Because my mum is learning Facebook.

My ideal afternoon involves me lazing on the sofa with a good book in hand, sipping Earl Grey Tea, with jazz music playing softly in the background.

While I never had much time to indulge like this during school term, these few weeks before I began on my new job seemed a perfect time for such self-indulgence. Well...or so I thought.

Every couple of minutes, mum would scream " Meimei!!! Why my facebook....", " Why I cannot add friends ah?" " How to reply my friend's message ah?".....  And I'll reluctantly run over to her room to troubleshoot. It's been almost a week now, and she throws me the same questions day after day.

While I wasn't exactly pleased to be torn away from my haven again and again, I told myself, mom was simply trying to pick up a new "skill", trying to keep up with the times, and catch up with a few old classmates.... I really feel 不孝 for feeling irritated, but sometimes I can't help it. So while it was hard to be all chirpy about it each time she called me in, I did try to explain her doubts in all ways I can, with hope that she'll finally understand. After all, I probably subjected her to the same torture throughout the years she brought me up. 

Sigh... there she goes again...

"I'm coming mum..."

(I really should try to be less grumpy....  I'll regret totally this one day...)

  

OOPS

Happy mood ---> decides to change blogskin ---> went to google "blogskins" --> nothing caught my eye --> bad mood ---> decides to create own blogskin --> went to customize banner on photoshop ---> :) ---> went to customize pokka dots all over the background ---> :D ---> 5.12am ---> :X ---> zzzzzzzz

(goodness, I'm going crazy)

Random happy mood

Today it's one of those random happy days that I wish would never end!
I say random because nothing really happened today....
Haha!
And I actually talked to a few snails along my way home because I wanted someone  something to share my happiness!


Okay, I admit, I am strange...

A new beginning.

Oh my goodness, I'm down to one last week before I start on my job!!
I'm sooooo excited to get started, but also mad nervous!

你永远都不知道。。。

你值十分

s.l.o.w.

On hindsight, the arduous journey to complete my Honours Thesis taught me more that I could have expected. Months later, I'm still surprised at what I took away from the experience.

Would I go through that again? Hell no.
(Okay, maybe yes. But certainly not with the naive ambition of trying to challenge current understandings and push knowledge frontiers this time round)

But since there's no point harping over spilt milk, and since I miraculously passed (yippee doodle yipee yay!), I guess I should be thankful.

Maybe the whole experience drained the life out of me so much then, that it made me double cherish the freedom and time I have on my hands now. Surprisingly, I'm feeling no sense of emptiness watching time pass me by. I'm quietly enjoying the newfound slow pace of life. I once am convinced that I had to be doing sometime all the time. I'll be so afraid of boredom, to see a blank schedule on my organiser, I fill all my free time with gatherings, dinners, activities - my way of living life to its fullest. But maybe life doesn't have to be like that.... (Well, at least for one more month. I'll go look for a job after :P)

Been there, done that.

All that's left to do is to wait 6 years :)

comfort zones

When I was in primary school, I was made monitress.Not because I was the epitome of good behaviour, but conversely, because I happened to be hopping around the class on one foot when my form teacher was selecting someone to lead the class.

I helped the teachers run errands after errands, led the class back to the classroom after assembly, made public announcements and even raised the Singapore flag every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I doubt my primary school friends would ever term me a shy kid -  I was outgoing, loud, and popular then. But no one then knew that it took a lot out of me to handle the demands asked of a monitress.

I remembered that my form teacher used to frequently ask me to head over to another class to pass a message to other teachers. Sounds effortless. But I had to calm myself down, count 1 to 10 outside the class and make myself take deep breaths before I knock on the doors of another class. It seems silly now  to think of how much self-psycho-ing I needed to convince myself to do something as simple as stepping into another class. But then, that really seemed like a daunting task.

Now to think of it, I really appreciate being made monitress (thank you Mrs Wong, though you'll never read this). And I firmly believe that I'll never have gotten to where I am now, if not for that opportunity. It's really the first time  I understood what it meant to be put out of my comfort zone, which paved the way for me to try out new things beyond what I think I can do from then on.





Accepting this post has really pushed me to do things I would never have imagined doing. While it gives me a great sense of achievement afterwards, others would never see how much self-psycho-ing it takes me to do many things. I got no idea why my comfort zone has such a small radius. Why does so many things fall beyond my comfort zone?!

What prompted this post? A new challenge.
It's not really often that I get an opportunity like this, but the challenge scares me like no other.
Grrrrr. Pass it up? or face my fears?