Kockee

It's probably about time to dedicate an entry to a really really good friend of mine whom I've known for more than half my life - yenlin :)



I don't really remember when exactly in primary school did we start call each other "kockee"and where the nickname came about , but the name has stuck with us since, for 9 years and counting... And so the entry shall be dedicated to Kockee!

Beginnings

We first met in Primary 4, in a speech and drama class that our parents sent us to. I didn't really have tuition when I was in primary school, but I remember being sent to loads of enrichment classes- abacus, ballet, yoga, drawing, poetry..... Anyways, we two were randomly chosen to be a group (which we named, The Smarties) and tadah, memories of our friendship pretty much started ever since.


A Common Passion for Fine Arts

We were both in the Young Artists' Club for many years and so we met every Sunday for art lessons at Boon Lay Art Centre. She was really good at drawing and painting, and its really through her guidance that I've improved so much during the years.

I remember our teacher bringing us out to paint landscapes during the school holidays. He would have a list of dates and outing timings written down on the board, and we would choose any 3 to go to.. It was kinda like an exam for us, because our grades for these outdoor painting sessions determined if we could advance to the next level.

Me and kocke would choose our spot in a park, or at the void deck, roll out our picnic mats, lay out our painting stuff neatly in front of us and begin painting, while curious passerbys stare at the big crowd of us in our yellow shirts. Anxious parents would sit with their children, either to fan them or to buy snacks for them when they're hungry.

After completing our masterpieces, we would join the LOOOONG queue in front of the teacher, to let the teacher grade our pieces. The teacher has a habit of walking around the park/ void decks to check on us, and he's always not an a fixed place, and so you'll probably see us scrambling around the flats to look for him ...

"LONG SI TING! " My teacher would boom when it's my turn at the queue.His voice still brings shudders down my spine. He would stare at my painting for a while, while other kpo parents stand behind him to look..And the aunties would already begin to mumble comments behind me..

It's almost impossible to get the teacher to grade your painting at the first try. He'll probably scream comments like " why did you draw the ugly dustbin in?" or "why is this corner so empty", shove the painting back to us, (which is a cue that we must run back to edit it before bringing it back to him again, which means REJOINING THE LONG QUEUE). :P I remember cursing him again and again cos he made me run around back and forth all the time.. And it was then we started calling him " lao3 yao1 guai4" (old monster)..and we've referred to him as that ever since..

Sigh, so nostalgic..

Our 1 mark difference in PSLE score led us to different secondary schools. Luck was seldom on her side.. I got an A for Math despite struggling with the subject all year round, and her grades would have been straight A+s if not for her B in Maths, which was surprisingly unexpected. And so she ended in Nanhua, me in RV..

We made an effort to keep our friendship going and so wrote loads of letters to each other then.. and till date, I've kept hundreds and hundreds of them.. She's never forgotten my birthdays, and presents are always accompanied with a hand-drawn card, with long heartwarming messages.

We catch up once in a while now.. and most of the time, she's introducing me to good food, it's almost impossible to diet when out with her. Deserts after steamboat, ice-cream after buffets..

And the recent outing with her to swensens had a big nice chocolate fondue after dinner! To think I thought, for once I could be healthy and just eat my SALAD in swensens!

That probably sums up our long friendship....

Reading about you

Its curiousity, I guess, that drives me to read about people's lives.

Scrolling through their photographs, reading about their weekends, their ups and downs- provides me with some insight as to that someone, who would otherwise be a total stranger.

I'm probably not alone..

But its only in recent times, that I begin to think that I do this too much for my own good.

Cos it seems like everyone has such perfect little lives, perfect boyfriends, they party every night, go for magnificent and lovely dinners (that would probably blow a hole in my pocket for months)..

They wear the most beautiful and expensive clothes, some of them are models, some of them are pageant queens.. Of course, not all of them are like that, but I guess there's always something that I envy about them.

Maybe reading about their lives gives me a benchmark to judge my life, and myself.

I should really stop comparing..

Family bonds

I'm really thankful that grandpa made it through the major operation..

But it pains me to see the huge cuts and stitches all over his neck and throat, with tubes all over..

I don't know.

Kinda lost for words whenever I think of his situation.

Argh.

So helpless

i love nicky

Who is Nicky?
Haha.
He's my hairdresser!
And a really nice and great one at that...
All it took is a trip to the salon that made appreciate the value of good service.
I walked out of the salon, beaming, and telling myself over and over again that I must go back to find him everytime I need a haircut.
And that good feeling has been lasting for days!
so happy.
___________________________
On a side note, I've been suffering under my huge workload. I can't remember a time where i watched CSI properly, or had the time to sit down and browse blogs or chill out at cafes instead of mugging in them. So irritated.
For like one day, i was excited that my three mid-terms and countless presentations were over. But But right after that day, i realised to my horror that my research papers were due like SOON.. and it gives me no motivation to know that right after working hard for those research papers, another round of tests were coming, followed immediately by the EXAMS!
goodness!

___
Anyway I'm also suffering cos my beloved camera, the one with the pretty floral wrapping finally decide to leave me and died on me!
It showed symptoms like months ago when it vibrated uncontrollably then its life ended when it dropped into a bowl of erm laska from Lerk Thai.
so i'm camera-less and feeling like my life isn't documented during this period.
recommendations for new camera?


I'll blog about my valentine's day and my surprise soon k! after tomorrow. For now, let me drown in citing references for infant development.
argh.

food for thought

Haven't really been in a blogging mood recently

I've been desperately trying to inject a certain discipline in my life- on when to sleep, when to wake up, when to go swimming, when to jog, when to stand and sit, how to treat life, treat people...

its pretty tiring to get myself to be more disciplined

but oh well, its making me feel better about myself...

watching more of the Tyra Show works too =)

Many situations have been bothering me..things involving to people i know

i got to know a new friend through lunch just recently.. and the conversation with her got me thinking a lot..

She's tall, pretty, thin, rich, model, beauty queen..

And she was telling me she spends almost 1500 per month, with a monthly allowance from her parents of $500, with her earning the rest to support her spendings.

For once, i got nothing in common to talk to her when it comes to shopping

Because i pride myself on cheap and nice finds in bazaars, flea markets and far east plaza, I practically didn't dare to speak while she tells me about her spending habits

she was asking me about my belt and i was smiling and said i bought it for 3 dollars.

and she was telling me how her belts are from zara and each cost more than 80 each.

and she mainly eats at restaurants (tts why we didn't eat at the sch canteen) and goes for monthly facials, clubs frequently..

i had to smile politely when she asked me to go to spa with her.. with me feeling like i was in another league as time went by

we're 2 girls of the same age, but we lead so different lives!

i can't help but be envious (afterall, the grass is always greener on the other side).. and i really wonder how that life would be.

haha. the closest i came to the high life is this! (thanks to the boyfriend)

High tea!!!

even the ice cream has like so many toppings to go with it!! (i'm so excited! anyone wanna come along this time? its 20 + dollars only !)

look at those cakes!awwwww

___________________

another incident, involved a friend breaking up with her boyfriend who she was with for quite some time, for another guy,

a guy she met for the most a month or two perhaps?

i saw them hugging one day at the mrt station, which confirmed that fact and i dunno why i was actually quite disturbed..

the scene remained in my mind for several days

and i dunno why i feel so heartbroken, whenever i think about the ex-boyfriend

sigh.

___________________

anyway, on a happier note, i'm glad new year is here!!! =D

feel so happy seeing new year decorations everywhere!

yays. looking forward to the long weekend!

some random photos to share

Here's a photo of me at 3am in Changi Airport with my lugguage.
it weighed a surprising 15kg! it must be the food and sweets i brought along for the kids...
But after shopping there..
[erm.. tell me i didn't buy a lot...]
this photo was taken just halfway through the trip...
and filling up my extra bag with new stuff (i bought like 7 pairs of shoes for me and my family)
i was certain i would exceed the lugguage weight limit
so i began to throw away old clothes!
haha. luckily my luggage weighed 20.4kg at the end of the trip- not overweight!
This was a photograph taken of my hand at the end of painting one day.
i took extra long baths there to get rid of all these everyday!Towards the end of the trip, the leaders brought us to this place called Dead Fish!
its an old creaky place, which was really scary because it was kinda dangerous
my friend almost fell down 3 stories cos the place was really sqeezy and one bad step could send you down to...

THIS...Eeks!

a crappy entry

I'm like slacking in the library, in front of a computer terminal with everyone seemingly doing some serious mugging around me..
so i decided to just type some random words to try and constitute a blog entry. haha
this is to please lala, who is too stressed ( i miss you my friend)
and to to destress yours truly..

eh.. okay i just decided to blog about the muggers around me.

girl number 1: at computer terminal C7
cute hair, mugger specs with a huge stack of notes in front of her
i took a random peek and eew, it was filled with tiny maths equations (not my cup of tea..)
but she's typing something really slowly..
like really slowly
(somewhat like my mum who types using like 1 finger)
i think she's falling asleep..
but a guy comes up to her and talks to her and asks her out for lunch and she readily agrees and like prances up immediately... looks like she would do anything to get out from the mugging.
( shit..i'm hungry)

boy number 2: at computer terminal C10

me makes me scared i have't studied enough cos he got a greater amount of books and stacks of worksheet..
(a very handsome angmoh walks past at this moment. weeee weet.. i think he looks like leonardo di caprio..)
he is in a very ugly ah-pek-sit-at-coffee-shop pose..
looks abit scruffled
like he's been mugging here for ages and have no time to bathe
erm. his sense of fashion.....(no comments)
i can't believe someone would wear socks with slippers nowadays.
way to go.


aiyo! i realise i'm stereotyping..
no..i'm guess i'm just bored.
haha.

Random pictures

I was talking to a random friend one day..
And somehow the topics got to the gazillion magazines I buy religiously every month..
Huge stacks of them, occupying shelves and shelves in my room..
And she was shocked I didn't bother sending in the lucky draw coupons..
So i told her i was lazy to cut those coupons out, the stamps needed money, plus, so many girls would do just that and I'll probably have no chance of winning at all..

But somehow her words enlightend me and for the first time i sent in some coupons ...and TADAH!!! I WON!!!
it was as though i got some educational bursury lah.
They sent me a letter and asked me to collect it from genting lane..
I won some perfume that costs hundreds of dollars (how can a perfume cost that much?!)
And even though I don't really use perfumes, its FREE mah (minus the stamps)...so off i trudged to Genting Lane to get my prize
Its super duper whoooper ULU, and off at the other part of the island..
but oh well, its free right i won't complain...
So i got this thing home...
2 bottles of heavy French perfume...


I won. I'm happy. and by right, i should believe that I'm actually lucky and I actually have a chance of being picked right. And by right, i should continue sending in those coupons right...

But i didn't. Half of me was lazy to get my butt over to genting lane ever again.
And the other half of me believed that I won't win again and they gave me a prize to bait me into wasting money on stamps and sending in more of my coupons. lol. university has made me skeptical..

The Season

Its the breakup season...
It must be..
There has been so much breakups, tears, quarrels and separations these days... its almost scary..


What would make a woman have an affair 6 months after her marriage..
I seriously don't understand.
I've never thought affairs should be condemned ..but 6 months after the marriage? it makes me wonder if she understood what's marriage all about..
did she forget for that moment why she loved the man?
did she expect she'll lose her husband? the man that loves her so much?
No wonder, elders say we don't respect the institution of marriage anymore..


What would make a couple quarrel loudly over trivial issues in the public?
I witnessed a guy scolding his girlfriend for replying an sms to her guy friend.
They sat there at the food court and just screamed at each other for 2 hours.
Where's the love?


It saddens me when people don't take a step back and treasure what they have..

Even the TV programmes are all showing all these sappy drama serials...
7pm show, 9pm show..
:(
i think i'll stick to CSI..

sad-happy memories

MAVIS SHALL TALK ABOUT THE HAPPY STUFF FIRST

Here are some photos I haven't posted!

I met up with Jamie for some mugging (erm..relatively productive mugging)... and we were discussing where to go for exchange programme next year..

We decided on Canada and we're still deciding which university to go...

Shortlisted are.. University of British Columbia and York University for now..

OR should maybe we just go for cheaper alternatives like Hong Kong..

My friend wanna go to Thailand and she just realised that the university she's interested has a school uniform! and a cute one somemore! haha..

We cousins had an outing to the boardgames cafe at Clarke Quay on some random sat.. pretty fun! After that, Jon had to leave for tuition and the rest of us went to the Istana openhouse cos i wanted to visit Marco who was on duty there (suay suay lor).. but it was surprisingly fun... we went around saying we're stepping on high-class grass, washing our legs with high-class water. haha. but the place's so beautiful!!! some people even had picnics there and some even flew kites!

There's Marco! My cousin Nicholas said he wanted to take a photo with a policeman so haha.. doesn't this picture look damn funny... I told Nic it looked like he received a Good Citizen Award lor.haha =DSpeaking of Marco, I'm going to spill some beans about him (poor boyfriend...all my friends have to know about his failed attempt..)

Okay we were practicing our ballroom dance at Cityhall some day and he saw some teens doing breakdance and he was like ... " i can do a baby freeze too!!!" .Well it appears he learnt breakdancing when he was in JC before so...the boyfriend attempts to show me what he learnt years and years ago... (With subtitles)

"ARRRGGGGGGH...GET MY BODY UP... UPPPPPP!!!"AIYAH!!! FAIL! *looks left and right to make sure no one sees**OKAAY.. ALMOST UP...HEAD'S HURTING..BUT CANNOT "THROW-FACE"!!*
YAY!!! QUICK ! TAKE PHOTO TAKE PHOTO!!! (haha)

On a sadder note...

Dad's just gone over to USA to work-cum-study for almost one month... and it's his departure that made our whole family realise how dependent we are on him.

Mum got no one to help her carry stuff, bitch about work and open her shop on weekends.

Brother got no one to consult over matters and he gotta take care of the family, on dad's instructions.

For me, it just feels terribly empty that no one's asking me how's my studies, no one to fetch me from school when i end late...

And dad left notes for us.. mum was to take care of grandpa and grandma and not let them work too hard...

I'm supposed to talk to mum more often and not let her feel lonely..

and brother had the enormous reponsibility of taking care of everyone and repair all the broken lamps and everything that spoils lah.

Its so hard being a good father/ son/ husband...

Everyone seems to depend on you for something...

Gosh, I miss my dad! I think the accident changed my dad quite a bit. He's more concerned about everyone...Maybe its only near the brink of death when you learn to treasure loved ones more... =D

1 month to exams.... *boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*

sometimes..

Sometimes I feel secretly excited whenever I take a non-airconditioned bus...

Take an open window and wait for the wind to ruffle my hair and blow upon my face..

Its kinda therapeutic I guess...

Makes me forget about work for a while... and just quietly ...enjoy the breeze..

" it won't happen to me"

We flip the papers and watch the news everyday, and find dozens of accidents happening everyday around the world.
Car accidents, natural disasters, people get killed by a falling tree..
Some lose their lives over the weirdest reasons.. as though at that point of time, they're meant to leave the world, and some force would take their life away at that precise moment, no matter what they're doing.
I think the scariest thing about death is when death is abrupt and unexpected.
Yes, we often say we don't take our loved ones for granted. We're busy like hell, our weekends are burnt and we're so stressed up with homework CCA and so many activities, its hard to take some time off to spend it with our parents or someone we love so dearly.
Its only during times when we almost lose them, that we really feel scared of losing them.

Feeling kinda depressed. I came home from my hall on Saturday morning only to find dad in bed. He gave me a smile, asked about school and my lectures...
And he told me he had a car accident yesterday
Some bus crashed into his car when he was waiting for a right turn.
The bus driver apologised profusely because he wasn't paying attention and didn't notice my dad in the other lane while overtaking..
Dad's car is in a horrible state, his back is hurt and the blood vessels in his eyes burst or something. so his eyes are terribly red.
I'm pretty worried.

He rented a car, and just now, a day after his accident, he had a minor accident again!
Our family was on his rented car, outside Miramar hotel (we were going there for a buffet to celebrate my brother's birthday). Dad was turning right, when he spotted a cyclist who was cycling past him in the opposite direction. The cyclist acknowledged dad and turned right to avoid dad's car, but apparently the man didn't control his bike properly because he had loads of heavy newspaper behind on his bike, and he hit a coach!!

Dad felt really bad cos the man was quite old and he was hurt so he went down to give the man some money for his injuries even though its not his fault. The man even asked for more money cos his bike is spoilt... but dad being dad, gave it to him..

Poor dad. i think he's feeling pretty traumatised. 2 accidents in 2 days.

Its almost like some force is trying to take him away from me. And that thought is really scary.
Mum sort of sensed something bad was going to happen and she's been going to the temple everyday this week before the accident. I'm going to pray for him tomorrow...

i should just stop thinking that bad things won't happen to people around me.. and start appreciating their concern and love a lot more..

random pictures of food and nice places

I don't really have time to think of meaningful things to blog but i got loads of photos i haven't posted so let the pictures do the talking lah (its my excuse for being lazy..) Its really fascinating how time can pass you by so quickly when you're filled with work to do. I propose a 4-day work week! haha =)

Some random candlelight dinner at CHIJMES =) Its a very nice place but I kinda felt i didn't know what I was eating.. it was super super dark! the waitors had to use torchlights to show us the menus. haha..so much for the romantic ambience huh! I probably attracted everyone's attention with all my flash photography anyway. haha:P


Dessert at Ben and Jerry's!!!
I think i've only eaten icecream from there like twice in my life (its a hint for pple to jio me there) and its really yummy!! I'm blogging this from the shop near my hostel that sells delicious waffle icecream. I needed to "siam" cos alot of uncles were up there to change my curtains...

ohya! that day i was taking the school's internal shuttle bus when a car crashed into us!after all the screams and dispersing... many of us immediately whipped out our mobile phones and cameras and snapped away =) It was pretty funny..

Random comment: I love the food at Asian Kitchen. haha.On another note, i'll be leaving for Cambodia in December for OCIP for a little more than 2 weeks.. teaching kids in the orphanage... will also be exploring Angkor Wat (so exotic right???).. and I'm really excited about the trip cos its totally initiated by students.

The only thing that turns me off is the 3 vaccinations i have to take on top of the malaria pills i have to eat before i leave..

I was doing this local CIP for the past weekend too, which got me so tired i missed MAF (:( :( :( )
Teaching some kids in a Malay Home in faraway Eunos.The kids are sent there by the government because their parents are deemed to be unfit to take care of them...Its much more challenging than the kids i ever handled in my kindergarten..
And it makes me think of how important upbringing is..
The primary 1 and 2 children were pointing third fingers and telling people the f-word all day. Clay pieces we made for them were thrown and smashed to pieces, stolen and destroyed by the group.. and we spent the days pulling apart fighting children and trying our very best to entertain them...
Musical chairs turned violent almost immediately.
Passing the message failed cos they children passed vulgar messages..
And painting clay figurines turned out to be really messy (i think they painted everything on their body (hair included) except the figurines..)

SIGHHHHHHHHHH...................it really really made me rethink my ambition of being a kindergarten teacher.
















saya cinta pada mu =) thanks for being through everything with me.
sometimes i really wonder how other couples "function"
do they have trouble thinking of places to have dinner like us?
do they see each other as often as us?
do the girlfriends make their boyfriends play stupid silly games like us?

Maybe answers will come someday. Meanwhile, i'm contented ...
Contented with simple things we do and share.
Contented I'm never lonely anymore =)

13 Aug 2007

School's reopening soon...and I'm kinda having mixed feelings over that fact.
Well, I'm excited to be thrown back into a disciplined life, pushed back to hit the books and I really miss the library and endless mugging sessions at the cafes..
And of course, the chance to meet new friends and say hello to old ones too.

Yet, I'm worried about my CAP, about whether I'll get the modules I bidded for, whether I'll graduate, about whether I have friends for the modules I chose, whether I'll have friends for lunch, and simply whether I'll enjoy school this semester. All the jitterbugs are getting to me... *shudders*

my mum said..

MY MUM SAID I'M A COW!!!!

Cos I used to regurgitate (aka spitting out food I consumed) for more than a year when i was young!!! I must really hate food...

MOOOOOOOOooooo

Appearances

Appearances don't matter?

Probably only people with above average looks would think so...

Of course, people always tell you that what matters is what you have inside.

No doubt, it motivates one to have a good heart, be a good person..

And its really encouraging, because you can't do anything about how you look (unless you have the money), but you can try to be a nice person so people would like you.

Yet, at first sight, when a first impression is formed, even for that few seconds, what matters is your appearance.

Strangers that pass by everyday would probably judge you based on how you look- the taxi-driver, the stall vendor, the random passerby.

Its so cruel, yet that's how the mind works.

When you're pretty and pleasant looking, people like you first then judge your personality more positively.

When you're not, people don't like you and then judge you through coloured lens.

When such comments are voiced out.

Its a reminder that looks do matter...

I should stop being naive and think it doesn't.. =)

Star-gazing

Its one of those days, that my tears drop, for no particular reason.

A sense of being hugely overwhelmed by the happenings of life.

So i drowned myself in Michael Buble's new album, sitting comfortably on the chairs by the poolside, the wind ruffling my hair.

I love looking up at the night sky on a windy night.

Its as though the sight makes me fall in love with the world again, the beauty of everything.

I remember during one of the earlier dates Marco and I had, we sat by the beach and looked up at this same scene of the night sky.I was really excited and pointed out the brightest stars.

...Only to hear him clarify then that those bright ones were actually satellites.

How unromantic, I thought. Guys in drama serials aren't supposed to even say that line...

I was probably grumpy about it for a long time and from then on, I started saying "Hey, look at that satellite" instead of "Look at that star"..as a reminder of how unromantic he was that time.haha.

But tonight I realised, that because of him, I now appreciate seeing the faintly glowing stars in the night sky even more.

And tonight, this very night....star-gazing was never more beautiful..=)

late night posting

My sleeping habits are getting weirder.

This semester especially...

I sleep every alternate night...and today just happens to be a night where i just can't put myself to bed.

I've even resorting to asking people "How do you sleep?" and they'll say something like count sheep or think of nothing...but doing those can make me lie in bed for hours till sunlight streams through the window binds..

shrugs.

maybe i'm superwoman.

haha. one good thing is that i can wash my clothes late at night and the best washing machine there is MINE!!!=)



anyway i'm moving out of my hall after this semester.

i'm really feeling all nostalgic over it.

I'm moving out right after exams and i decided to start packing tonight cos i got too many things to bring back i need days.

sigh.

i've somehow shown more attachment to this place than home..

and i'm sad i'm leaving this haven of my own.

its like my retreat...a place a look forward to going after a long day at school..

the hardest thing about moving into the hall turns out to be leaving it..

look at these bags.. i've barely cleared a few drawrs and shelves..

Still got the clothes, bags, shoes, food and files :S AND MY TELEVISION ,PRINTER, RADIO AND SPEAKERS SOMEMORE!!!

Its so scary how a truckload of stuff can be stuffed in my tiny hostel!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. shall go mug now...since i can't sleep anyway...

to lala: when you read this...your final exam will probably be over!!! =) gong xi gong xi. can't wait to go out with you =)

loads of love to everyone else ..

knowing...

Sometimes ignorance is bliss..
But sometimes, a little more honesty in a couple can bring a relationship up leaps and bounds -removing all barriers between, and erasing any trace of insecurity in our hearts.
I'm glad i asked... =)