110107

I'm trying to get myself back into studying mode...
but the rain dampens my mood and makes me sleepy all the time.. haha.
alrights, i shall admit i'm just lazy
but i've been seriously mugging ahead for lectures, to pull up my CAP this semester. get a 4.0 and i'll give myself a hundred and fifty bucks to go shopping =)

Anyway a lecturer of mine passed away even before i could get a chance to attend his lecture on friday so the module is cancelled, leaving many frantic students desparately scrambling to beg teachers to let them into other alternative modules. its so scary and depressing to know of his sudden death. its like not knowing when would be the last moment of your life.

and i've always wondered what the last moment of one's life be like..
would you think of all your love ones and regret not telling them i love you once again before you left the house?
would you regret not telling someone how much he or she means to you?
or would you leave knowing your life was beautiful and you'll be remembered?

so i asked myself if i would leave this world happy if my life happened to be cut off so suddenly.
and i think i would.
there may be dozens of things i haven't accomplished in my life just as yet.
i haven't gotten my degree, my phd, i haven't got a chance to put on the wedding gown, or be someone's wife or mother
And neither have i done my skydiving, bungee jumping, and travelled the world yet...

but, i guess i would leave knowing i'm remembered and loved, my friends would know how much i love them., and i'm sure he would know how important he is to me. i guess my life is beautiful because of the love around me, and not the degrees and certs i'll get.
whine..i sound like i'm going to die soon. choy.

to whoever bothers to read my ramblings to this point... i love you! and thanks for being the reason my life's beautiful =)




















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i saw an ex-classmate dance and perform in school yesterday
lets just say something happened in the past that made me compare myself constantly to her from then onwards..
its been years now
but i realised...
i never stopped comparing.
KO.
she wins.
again.